Wednesday, August 5, 2015

U.S. Vogue, August 2015

I have to admit, I'm pretty heated... My son and his mother are in this months issue of Vogue US, but his name is not printed properly. 

Arizona Muse and I have a son together, and his name is Nikko Finn Quintana Muse! 

It may not seem like a lot to most, but if you're aware that Arizona continues to keep my son away from me in other countries, like most are aware, Anna Wintour should have at least checked his passport! 

DISSAPOINTED! 







Friday, July 31, 2015

JustLOVE

I feel like I'm s good person. I don't have any enemies, and do everything I can to make others around me happy... 

However, there is one person that continues to do everything in their power to hurt me and use their resources to cause me pain. 

It is what it is, but tonight I dedicate my yoga practice to that person. 

Everything always turns out alright in the end. #JustLOVE

Sunday, July 19, 2015

GRATITUDE

"Early 2015, I started keeping track of my gratitude. Each day I write five to eight unique events I am grateful for. I don’t repeat anything from the previous day. If you grew up in an abundant environment and learned to be grateful because of it, awesome. I did not.

Learning was a slow process for me. After twenty-one days I was not a more positive or grateful person. A hundred days in, it had completely changed my life. Gratitude does not come naturally to me but is the surest path to happiness, I promise.

Even when 'life' sucks and people disappoint me or I let myself down, I make an effort to see all the spaces, places, and people for which or whom I am grateful.

With time I have begun to recognize my gratitude not just at the end of the day, but when things actually occur."

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Happy Birthday Angel

Seems like yesterday. 

I reached underwater from behind your Mom; I was the first to hold you.

Your eyes wide open; you were looking right at me, and you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Happy 6th Birthday Nikko!


Saturday, March 23, 2013

13/13 Final Response


A lot of you out there consider me a slime ball or whatever for airing our “dirty laundry” (even referring to me as a gargoyle, which I find quite amusing)…. but are misinterpreting my blog. Believe me, I know what you’re writing.

Put yourself in my shoes.

Imagine you have a child, whom you love more than anything, and whom you’ve been caring for.
Then imagine that whenever your “partner” is in town (rarely), she’s unavailable and only brings chaos and inconsistency into your home.
Finally, when you attempt an "intervention", because it’s long overdue, your “partner” retaliates by leaving the country, and drains all of your (shared) accounts.
You’re then forced to leave your current residence (UK) because you’re visa has been revoked by your “partners” agency.
When you return to your home country (US) and hire council, there is nothing your attorney can do because of "jurisdiction laws"… and can only suggest hiring council in the UK.

Well, this is my situation; I’ve been dealing with this for nearly a month without hearing a word from Arizona. What would you do, or turn to without resources? Someone said it best:

“If he's up against Arizona who probably has enough money to hire an adequate legal team, who do you think is more likely to lose out? :/ I'm not trying to defend him but I can see that desperate times call for desperate measures.. besides, he probably wanted Arizona to straighten herself out and shaming her in public would probably somehow motivate/drive her to sober up?”

Sure, I’ve made mistakes, but my lifestyle changed when Nikko was born… that was the reason I was so intimate about my past.

It didn’t for Arizona, it became toxic, you can’t live like that with a child. And if you've ever worked in fashion, you know it's even encouraged.  

I don’t regret anything I said…. Interpret it as you wish.

P.S. This was funny.  

Wow,  make a lifetime movie about it:

"An American Top Model and her Latino Bottom Blogger"

"Arizona: The Real Long Island Iced Tea" 

"Two and a Half Men: the Arizona Muse story"

"The Pusher's Muse: a story of love, lines, and... lies?"



By the way, I'm not a bottom.... lol, and thank you all for your kind e-mails. 

Thursday, March 21, 2013

12/13 Backlash


I knew there was going to be a backlash when I went public about my relationship and current situation involving Arizona Muse. I'n all honesty, I’ll always care about her, she’s my son’s mother… and for that I’ll continually hold her close to my heart.  

I love my son, more than words could ever express…. But I haven’t seen, nor have I heard from my boy in nearly a month. It’s killing me inside, it’s not fair what she’s doing to us.

I’ve made many mistakes I’m not proud of, and I am not blaming Arizona for everything… you cant naively think I have put absolutely everything on this blog, come on!

I’ve been receiving e-mails, telling me I’m a terrible person, and have been reading horrible things about myself online. The truth is, I’m just TIRED of lying, I’ve been lying for so long, keeping secrets which only make things worse...  and unless all of you are aware of this situation you’re going to think I have this happy, wonderful life, and Arizona is our “Lord & Saviour” but I don’t, and she is not! 

Also, there are people out there who presume I just sucked every cent I could from her… To answer to that absurd statement: Yes, Arizona was taking care of my expenses, but I gave up my career… and it was all worth it, the reason is Nikko. I knew if he were living with me (which he was), he would be safe and have somewhat of a normal childhood.

You can’t think a mother who works at the level that Arizona does, would have the availability to spend quality time with her child. I mean she goes out every fucking night, are you people blind?!?! Seriously, and I’m the bad guy? Most will never understand, we're all so infatuated with celebrity we don't see the obvious!

BTW, I am a great father… I’m the father I never had; the father I always dreamed would be there for me. I have done absolutely everything in my power to be there for NIkko, to be present, and now I'm being punished for confronting her. ... Remember, all of this while supporting Arizona, even though I didn't agree with her lifestyle.

There are a few quotes I came across online that seem to sum it up, thank you for your support. 

You guys are ridiculous. Seriously Arizona's behavior is not secret to 99% of people in the fashion industry. And maybe this is not the best way for Manuel to do things but she’s uses his kid as a weapon, at the same time she uses him to enhance her career. Arizona, the perfect model mom, look at her posing with her beautiful son. Only she’s far from the model mom. Manuel is not allowed to see his kid unless it suits Arizona, while she is off her tits most of the time, yet you guys are making him out to be the bad person here? As for Freja, yeah she really is beautiful. She tried to help Arizona as much as possible. Even agreeing to move to London. But Arizona fucked that up too. This girl is all about herself.”


“I agree with the part about her son. Arizona has always tried to portray the perfect model-mom image, and uses her son in shoots. But yet we all know she parties and almost certainly uses drugs. I don't see Manuel being a dick in this situation to be honest. I just see him as a desperate father who is concerned for his son. If Arizona isn't talking to him, how the hell else is he supposed to get her attention?”



11/13 Arizona Muse - Drugs


Arizona had a breakdown September 2011… I was away from NYC, but she called me desperately, pleading for help. At that time, Nikko had three nannies because she was working so often and trotting him along from country to country with her. She begged me to rush to NY so I could care for my son full time, I was more than happy… I dropped everything and moved immediately.

She had/has a major problem with alcohol, painkillers and amphetamines. I was shocked, had no idea…. but of course I did everything I could to help her… including pretending we were the perfect family. 

She skipped two seasons walking the runway because she was “incapable of being videotaped”, she was literally so out of it most of the time, she wasn’t showing up to work. Her agency NEXT must have been so pissed. We decided to move to London June 2012, to hopefully help change her patterns.

Everything just kept just getting worse and worse. She has three doctors; in different countries prescribing her “amphetamine salt” and painkillers to help her stay thin, awake during long days of shooting, and still be able to sleep at night.

Early this year we had a falling out, she was so paranoid, projecting all of her issues/insecurities on me… I basically told her I wanted full custody of Nikko and I filed a residence order with the courts in London.

She retaliated, left to Paris with Nikko and drained our bank accounts. Also, since my visa was provided through her agency, she had them revoke it so I was forced to leave the UK earlier this month.

I know I’m going to get a lot of flack for this blog of mine…. But Arizona needs help (even her secret attempt to get sober in Bali last year proved to be of no help).

She threatened to sue me for blackmail if I went to the press. Thats not what it's about ... I'm really concerned for my son's welfare. I don’t know where she is, she won’t return my calls and I don’t know who is caring for my son.

Financially, she can do anything at this point… This means surrounding herself with a team of “terrorists” to keep me at bay. My son is not safe in her care, its virtually impossible for me to do anything from America.

I’ve included screenshots of a few conversations we had just before she left to Mustique for New Years… also, photos posted on Instagram during that week.