Friday, March 28, 2014


10 Signs you’re a Hipster. 
In a Good Way.

1. You prefer to (always) bicycle or walk or bus instead of driving your own 3,000 ton black-blood fueled chariot for your 100 to 200 pound body.

2. You read labels. Your eyes dilate when you see an organic certification, and narrow when you see “all natural!”

3. You don’t count calories. You count how many days a week you work out. And by working out, you mean “climbing” or “yoga” or “mountain biking” or “road biking” or “hiking”* or “kayaking” or “snowshoeing” or “skiing” or “snowboarding” or something human-powered, generally. You don’t like plugging in your bicycle and walking in the same place in sweatified, toxic, un-cocooned air.

4. You like formal, romantic, old school dates…but you arrange them by text. And, just as often, a date goes under the guise of “hanging out” or “doing something” like bowling, music, party (VIP party is a bonus), or the aforementioned *hiking (dogs = bonus points).

5. You drink coffee. You drink more coffee. You drink more coffee. You drink tea. You drink pu-erh. You don’t drink mate anymore. You don’t drink kombucha anymore. You don’t drink bubble tea. You do drink smoothies, and instagram them.

6. You instagram everything, because it’s the quickest way to water your social media streams while preserving your life for your future children while still having a life (because instagram enables you to auto-populate your tumblr, Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter. You don’t have Pinterest).

7. You wish you could shop at Urban Outfitters but you don’t (everything’s made in China, see #2, and the place is GOP-owned by a Santorum donor)…except for that one time when…you went to walk your dog around the place because they’re dog-friendly and the men/women who work there are hot/style-inspirations and you don’t have an office, you work in a cafĂ© so hashtag UO is a good place to get warm while you’re on your cracked iPhone and…you found a khaki hat that’s made in the USA. Instead, you shop vintage at Buffalo Exchange, or the true hipster valhallas: thrift shops.

8. You don’t want to get married because you love being single and you’re okay with loneliness but you want to get married when you have children.

9. You rescue dogs and cats and are vegan or vegetarian and you will not buy things you love because they’re not ethically-sourced and you definitely vote and you supported Obama way back in 2006 when no one supported Obama anymore (before he had a great enemy like Mitt and everyone came around) and you consider the farmers’ market with sun and local food and grounded farmers with beautifully worn hands like living mahoghany to be the the best place ever and you live downtown and live on your (mac, duh) laptop because you want to make millions of dollars for good and you have a big moustache or if you’re a girl long-cut straight bangs and put make up on the edges of your eyes like Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra or you wear bright, bright, bright colors or you eschew tattoos ’cause they’re so mainstream now and besides they aren’t vegan or you do other things I can’t think of because I’m not enough of a hipster, though I’m one of few hipster wannabes. Everyone else is too busy denying they’re a hipster.

10. You deny being a hipster. 

Your denial of being a true hipster involves saying “even though I…” many times.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Ballet / 2014


Firstly, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014!

When I was in the Manhattan, to occupy time started dance lessons, ballet. As per usual, I thought ballet would be super easy and I’d get it immediately. I’m not a dancer, had never attempted, it was really difficult. I took three lessons, and cut them short. .. I sort of felt like a failure because I gave up on dance so suddenly, but I’ll get back to that in a bit.

When in London I took two months of fencing lessons… immeasurable experience! Fencing had been something I had always wanted to wrap my fingers around (literally), but growing up in Santa Fe it was never really available to me. Fencing is difficult, high endurance, but I got the hang of it immediately…. great, loved it!

After Fencing, while still in London, I trained really hard with a private trainer. This guy was unbelievably talented; seriously thankful for the referral I got from a friend! We trained for three months straight (5-6 days week), switching up Pilates reformers, power plate exercise, yoga, weights, and kickboxing. The results were shocking; I was in really great shape! … and my diet was on point. I like to stay busy, usually self-motivated, but it’s nice to have someone give you that extra drive! 

When I returned to the states early 2013, after over 11 years of yoga practice, I got certified to teach yoga. YAY, so grateful for the entire experience! Yoga is something that will always be with me, I continue to practice regularly.

So anyway, where am I going with all of this???

I’m in Santa Fe now, after spending several months in LA. What’s so incredible about being back in Santa Fe is the new Dance Institute (NDI-Dance Barn). It’s beautiful; a multimillion-dollar structure offering nearly 20 classes per day, seven days a week. It’s downtown, near the plaza, there is always a class available! I have been taking classes now for the past three weeks. They are 1.45 mins and the coaches are marvelous!

BALLET, it’s my new thing! I’m so happy dancing, wish I had started when I was younger. I’m nearly 30, so obviously I don’t have outlandish dreams of going professional, but the workout is INSANE! Seriously, every muscle in my body is in a constant state of distress, LOL.

Take Risks! "So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life. Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it. Make your mistakes, next year and forever." -Neil Gaiman





Sunday, December 8, 2013

2014 Intention



My Dad died recently, it feels like I’ve been in a daze. I really loved him.

I’ve been spending time with my Grandparents. They’re dealing with the situation, as best they can, but it’s been really hard for me. I don’t know, maybe I’ve been feeling sorry for myself?

We live in an unpredictable world. We can’t map out the future, even if we tried, life is kind of like an hourglass, a tiny, delicate hourglass.

I have this vision in my head, imagining myself as a single grain of sand, among billions of others, stuck in a bubble that is so delicate it could break at any moment. When I stop thinking about myself, and my own pain, I have a clearer picture, a different perspective. Life is fucked, the problems around the world are fucked, but life is also beautiful… we all have so much to be thankful for. 

When I returned to Santa Fe from LA, I wasn’t very happy with the weather. There is snow everywhere and it’s freezing out! Under other circumstances, I guess I would have arrived happily, but when we're distracted with what’s hurting us, we don’t appreciate all of the obvious blessings in our lives.  

My Grandfather asked me if I had a resolution for 2014. I’m nearly 29 years old and have never really committed to one. However, this year is going to be different. 

It may be a little premature, it’s only the 8th, but my intention for 2014 is to be HAPPY. That probably sounds vague, but I’m going to do the best I can to live in each moment, to appreciate everything I have rather than protesting what I long for.

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” –Nelson Mandela







Friday, August 9, 2013

Untitled

I miss the times when you were here
telling me to have no fear
To hold my head up high and strong
add happy notes to my sad song

I miss the way you look at me
As if I were too blind to see
The path I'm on might hurt and scathe
But all goes well if you just have faith

I miss the sound of your sweet voice
through bitter times a saving noise
That told me what was right and wrong
But rang in my ears for far too long

A caring person, you were such
That helped and hurt me, oh so much
You'd guide and mislead me through the day
You left me lonely when I'd rather you stay

Over things like that you had no control
A rock set in motion will continue to roll
No matter how hard you tug and heave
You were always pushed and forced to leave

Then one day you never returned
My tears so hot they almost burned
Aware now about what I lack
But crying and moaning won't bring you back

For me to let out what I need to say
I can't do much more than pray
No longer am I weak, my heart quite strong
From adding a happy chorus to a sad, sad song

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Acceptance


Can’t sleep, I’ve been lying in bed, tossing and turning for hours. The only thing on my mind is Nikko and the fact that he’s so far away from me; somewhere, and I have no control over the situation.

I feel broken without him... almost like someone who is paralyzed, completely aware of their “aberration”, but unable to repair the damage. I’ve always been a sensitive person, nearly anything makes me emotional, but never have I felt this vulnerable.

Anand, a 27-year-old Guru said, "Only the one who dies truly lives. Then there is liberation from fear." Some days it's as if I feel like I’m dying... it’s not pleasant. It’s an empty feeling, a sensation of loneliness. I don't understand why I’m here in this moment, why everything happens when it does… but I’m learning to accept that fact.

Later this week I’m beginning a yoga teacher training. It’s something I’ve always wanted to accomplish; hopeful it will help me gain some internal understanding. However, I'm afraid with everything that's going on, I won’t be able to get through the program excitedly. I’ve been practicing yoga for over 10 years, nevertheless it’s going to be challenging. 

Here is a quote I came across recently, "The yogi accepts a pleasant turn of events with equanimity, knowing that pleasure and pain never last forever. Yogis accept difficulties as opportunities to work out bad karma (either from this or previous lives). It is wise to give thanks for everything that happens, knowing that the present situation can change in an instant."

Praying for strength to maneuver my way through this discomfort. 

Sent from my iPhone 

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Happy Birthday Nikko!


Every single day since you were born, you’ve added something so amazing to my world that I can’t even imagine my life without you in it. Wherever life will take you, whatever endeavors that you choose, I will always be so proud of you! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my boy! A day never goes by that you are not thought about with love, smile and happy memories. Wishing you joy and happiness all year through!