My Dad died recently, it feels like I’ve been in a daze. I really loved him.
I’ve been spending time with my Grandparents. They’re dealing with the situation, as best they can, but it’s been really hard for me. I don’t know, maybe I’ve been feeling sorry for myself?
We live in an unpredictable world. We can’t map out the future, even if we tried, life is kind of like an hourglass, a tiny, delicate hourglass.
I have this vision in my head, imagining myself as a single grain of sand, among billions of others, stuck in a bubble that is so delicate it could break at any moment. When I stop thinking about myself, and my own pain, I have a clearer picture, a different perspective. Life is fucked, the problems around the world are fucked, but life is also beautiful… we all have so much to be thankful for.
When I returned to Santa Fe from LA, I wasn’t very happy with the weather. There is snow everywhere and it’s freezing out! Under other circumstances, I guess I would have arrived happily, but when we're distracted with what’s hurting us, we don’t appreciate all of the obvious blessings in our lives.
My Grandfather asked me if I had a resolution for 2014. I’m nearly 29 years old and have never really committed to one. However, this year is going to be different.
It may be a little premature, it’s only the 8th, but my intention for 2014 is to be HAPPY. That probably sounds vague, but I’m going to do the best I can to live in each moment, to appreciate everything I have rather than protesting what I long for.
“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” –Nelson Mandela