Wednesday, March 20, 2013

9/13 My Single Life

I hadn’t been single in quite a while, so I was taking full advantage of it! I had hot roommates, was really connected in the nightlife scene, and because my boss was away most of the time I had a huge apartment in the West Village where I was able to decompress, and have massive parties… HAHA!

Seriously though, her place was the most ideal for hanging with my son. Nikko and I would go on long strolls by the piers, play piano, go to the water park, have lunch at cute little coffee shops, etc. We had the best times there!

I was having fun being single, but deep down I was hiding my pain. I hardly saw Nikko and was beginning to resent Arizona for disregarding my feelings and keeping him from me.

She was so controlling, it was difficult for me to express anything to her… and as she became more recognizable in the public, it only got worse. It was at that time I first noticed she was drinking a lot. There was always an excessive amount of wine in her apartment, which seemed odd since there was a child in the house. She always smelled like booze, but again, I didn’t know what to do, she had so much power over the situation.

In order to feel better about myself, and deal with the situation, I had one-night stands… with men and women. I couldn’t drink much because my job was so demanding, so I used sex as my “coping mechanism”. I guess it helped at the time?

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